imaloserbaby
dragonage-headcanons:

Inquisition’s release date has been pushed back to November 18th, 2014.
Full article here.

I’m going to die. The waiting will literally kill me.

dragonage-headcanons:

Inquisition’s release date has been pushed back to November 18th, 2014.

Full article here.

I’m going to die. The waiting will literally kill me.

On the subject of Alistair’s parentage

So on the Dragon Age wiki, Fiona is listed as Alistair’s mother, and I think this is where the fandom has landed on the issue, for the most part, but I really think we should talk about the inconsistencies/implications of this scenario.

I want to keep this to actual facts. That said, we know:
1. That Maric met Fiona roughly four years after Rowan’s death.
2. That Fiona gave birth to a son.
3. That a maid in Redcliffe Castle was pregnant, and died very close to the time that her baby was/would have been born.
4. That said maid already had a daughter named Goldanna, and Goldanna genuinely believed that her mother was carrying the child of the king.
5. That Goldanna also believes that Eamon didn’t want her telling people that her mother’s child was the king’s, so he paid her hush-money and sent her on her way.

Whether Alistair is the maid’s child, or they simply gave him the identity of a baby that hadn’t made it through birth, Goldanna’s belief does imply that Maric impregnated a maid at Redcliffe Castle around the same time (within a couple of weeks, assuming the elven gestation period is comparable to a human’s) that Fiona’s child was conceived.

Plus, if they were going to lie to Alistair about who his mother was, why not just lie about who his father is, too? Or, at the very least, find a scapegoat who doesn’t have a family to throw a wrench in your coverup.

I can only assume that the reason Goldanna believed her half-sibling was the king’s child was because her mother or some other authority figure told her that it was, or she had reason to believe that the king was having sex with her mother. Granted, she was a child at the time, so she could easily mistake something she heard out of context for evidence that her mother would be giving birth to the king’s illegitimate child.

If it was just a misunderstanding on Goldanna’s part, that was be one hell of a coincidence. Almost unbelievably so.

On the other hand, Duncan fought too hard to conscript Alistair for him to be just some insignificant recruit, so Duncan had to have known that Alistair was Maric’s son, at least. Plus, it doesn’t really make sense that he would A: even know about Maric’s other bastard child(ren), and B: go out of his way to recruit them into the Grey Wardens.

The timeline seems a little iffy on this one, too. Alistair and Cailan appear to be about the same age. I don’t know how old Cailan was supposed to have been when Rowan died, but for Fiona to be Alistair’s mother, Cailan would be four years older than Alistair at the least, and that’s if Rowan died when Cailan was still a baby. Their ages can’t be too far apart, either, if Alistair is to be believed, as he recounts bowing and addressing Cailan formally, and Cailan’s response being, “Ooh, swords!”

Even if Alistair was mature for his age, and Cailan was immature for his, Alistair couldn’t have been younger than seven or eight to have the situational awareness to recognize Cailan as something higher than himself (since, watching younger children play makes it pretty clear that they don’t understand classism), making Cailan 11-12 that the youngest.

Granted, it is conceivable that 12-year-old Cailan would get distracted by swords, especially if he were a spoiled little prince, which he probably was, judging by the way he acted as an adult. However, I would like it to be noted that at twelve, he’d probably already begun sword training, and was likely around them often enough for them to be somewhat mundane to him.

I think there’s a part of me that wants Alistair to have another half-brother out there somewhere, though. Say he found an old journal of Maric’s (or even Duncan’s), and discovered that he had a half-brother somewhere in the world, and began searching for him. Than again, being able to find his mother might mean a lot to him, as well.

Feel free to reblog and add your thoughts.

dragonageconfessions:

Confession: My high school social teacher is the spitting image of Alistair. Not to mention their personalities are almost exactly the same.

Please excuse me while I drop everything and move to wherever confessor lives.
LET ME LOVE YOU, RANDOM HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER GUY!!

dragonageconfessions:

Confession: My high school social teacher is the spitting image of Alistair. Not to mention their personalities are almost exactly the same.

Please excuse me while I drop everything and move to wherever confessor lives.

LET ME LOVE YOU, RANDOM HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER GUY!!

That moment when you realize that six months ago, you couldn’t remember the name of the country in which one of your favorite games is set.
For the record, it’s Ferelden. Also for the record, I’m an idiot.
I don’t think I knew at the time just how much this series would consume my life. If only I could go back and warn myself. Or at least leave myself a note to fuckin’ google the name before posting about it on tumblr. Ugh.
(P.S.: I’ve recruited one of my friends to the darkspawn side. He started playing Dragon Age: Origins last night. He’s a Dalish rogue, or in his words, a “manly elf.”)

That moment when you realize that six months ago, you couldn’t remember the name of the country in which one of your favorite games is set.

For the record, it’s Ferelden. Also for the record, I’m an idiot.

I don’t think I knew at the time just how much this series would consume my life. If only I could go back and warn myself. Or at least leave myself a note to fuckin’ google the name before posting about it on tumblr. Ugh.

(P.S.: I’ve recruited one of my friends to the darkspawn side. He started playing Dragon Age: Origins last night. He’s a Dalish rogue, or in his words, a “manly elf.”)

thetaleofsirthopas:

dragonageconfessions:

CONFESSION: 
I enjoyed Oghren in Origins and that final speech he gave before the final battle made me cry. I was actually excited to see him in Awakening. Needless to say…I ended up HATING him and did not recruit him in future playthroughs. All the character growth he gained was gone and the poignancy of his goodbye speech in Origins was NEVER the same for me after that.  Basically, Awakening destroyed his character by reducing him to little more than the lewd drunkard dwarf stereotype. The fact he essentially abandons Felsi and his child makes it worse and I hope he is never mentioned or acknowledged again.

I always felt that DA:A Oghren was a natural progression of his arc from DA:O. In the two years after Branka’s disappearance, Oghren had a goal: find his wife. He was probably a heavy drinker before then (if not an outright alcoholic), but then it spiraled out of control. It’s the only thing that’s keeping him afloat when everything else goes to hell in a hand basket. He deliberately sabotages his career, his status, any relationships he could have had (getting so drunk and humiliating Felsi in front of her family), because he can’t let go of his memories of Branka and probably because he feels he doesn’t really deserve it. Branka’s mockery and public dismissal of him when she took everyone into the Deep Roads but him probably caused some self-esteem issues.
Post DA:O and Oghren’s found himself to be a hero again, but more than that, he’s found himself directionless. His one goal - find Branka - is over. She’s either dead or she’s crazy and building golems, either way Oghren cannot be a part of her life anymore. He again sabotages whatever career and respectability and family he’s manages to make after the Blight, because he is depressed and he is an alcoholic. His sense of self is completely tied up with Branka; even in Awakening, she’s still in his head. He wants a pony because Branka collected them. He’s collecting the things she collected.
This is not to excuse any of the things Oghren has done and I can understand why some people don’t like his character, but I do think there’s more layers to his character than the “drunk, warrior dwarf” fantasy trope.

An excellent analysis. I’d never really given Oghren much thought, so it’s interesting to see him in this light.
I still stand by not really liking him, though, since he reminds me of an unpleasant person that I know in real life. I feel like his writer knew an alcoholic in real life and modeled Oghren after that person.

thetaleofsirthopas:

dragonageconfessions:

CONFESSION:

I enjoyed Oghren in Origins and that final speech he gave before the final battle made me cry. I was actually excited to see him in Awakening. Needless to say…I ended up HATING him and did not recruit him in future playthroughs. All the character growth he gained was gone and the poignancy of his goodbye speech in Origins was NEVER the same for me after that.  Basically, Awakening destroyed his character by reducing him to little more than the lewd drunkard dwarf stereotype. The fact he essentially abandons Felsi and his child makes it worse and I hope he is never mentioned or acknowledged again.

I always felt that DA:A Oghren was a natural progression of his arc from DA:O. In the two years after Branka’s disappearance, Oghren had a goal: find his wife. He was probably a heavy drinker before then (if not an outright alcoholic), but then it spiraled out of control. It’s the only thing that’s keeping him afloat when everything else goes to hell in a hand basket. He deliberately sabotages his career, his status, any relationships he could have had (getting so drunk and humiliating Felsi in front of her family), because he can’t let go of his memories of Branka and probably because he feels he doesn’t really deserve it. Branka’s mockery and public dismissal of him when she took everyone into the Deep Roads but him probably caused some self-esteem issues.

Post DA:O and Oghren’s found himself to be a hero again, but more than that, he’s found himself directionless. His one goal - find Branka - is over. She’s either dead or she’s crazy and building golems, either way Oghren cannot be a part of her life anymore. He again sabotages whatever career and respectability and family he’s manages to make after the Blight, because he is depressed and he is an alcoholic. His sense of self is completely tied up with Branka; even in Awakening, she’s still in his head. He wants a pony because Branka collected them. He’s collecting the things she collected.

This is not to excuse any of the things Oghren has done and I can understand why some people don’t like his character, but I do think there’s more layers to his character than the “drunk, warrior dwarf” fantasy trope.

An excellent analysis. I’d never really given Oghren much thought, so it’s interesting to see him in this light.

I still stand by not really liking him, though, since he reminds me of an unpleasant person that I know in real life. I feel like his writer knew an alcoholic in real life and modeled Oghren after that person.

ladies-of-anbu:

lalamoped:

dextroamigo:

lalamoped:

dragonage-headcanons:

The younger Cousland was Bryce’s Bastard from another woman. Eleanor’s body couldn’t handle birthing another child after complications with Fergus, but she still treated the younger as her own.

What is with this need to make everyone illegitimate? It is possible to have children with your actual spouse.
I’m sorry, it’s just so overdone, and people will find the silliest “evidence” to support why this person isn’t actually this guy’s son, or these two are actually half-siblings. It’s like Alistair introduced the concept, and a bunch of people went, “Oh, yeah. That’s a thing, isn’t it?”

Proooooooobably it’s referring to people who give their Cousland a darker skin tone than their parents but what do I know

I would think that it would just be easier to say a dark-skinned Cousland is adopted or something, rather than imposing something so damaging to Bryce and Eleanor’s marriage.
Unless the headcanon is suggesting that, rather than an act of infidelity, the other woman was a surrogate, chosen because Bryce and Eleanor wanted a second child, but Eleanor couldn’t conceive. In which case, I guess it’s the choice of wording that bothers me, since in the time and place on which the Dragon Age setting is based (per-industrial Europe), a bastard was one of the most damning things you could be.

Yes sir, I did indeed mean for the mother to act a surrogate for a darker skinned Cousland. Needless to say, this is MY headcanon to justify why my Elethea Cousland has very dark skin in comparison to Eleanor and Fergus. I don’t need people to agree with it, I simply put it into circulation for possible discussion which would allow me to better improve my own story.

I see. Well, thanks for clearing that up. In hindsight, I probably reacted more harshly than was necessary, and for that I do apologize.
I have personal issues with the sorts of plots I first assumed this headcanon to be alluding to, having a half-brother of my own due to infidelity on my father’s part. In my experience, such situations generally result in resentment, and the illegitimate child would likely not be accepted by the man’s wife.
The concept of the surrogate-of-sorts, however, might actually be interesting.

ladies-of-anbu:

lalamoped:

dextroamigo:

lalamoped:

dragonage-headcanons:

The younger Cousland was Bryce’s Bastard from another woman. Eleanor’s body couldn’t handle birthing another child after complications with Fergus, but she still treated the younger as her own.

What is with this need to make everyone illegitimate? It is possible to have children with your actual spouse.

I’m sorry, it’s just so overdone, and people will find the silliest “evidence” to support why this person isn’t actually this guy’s son, or these two are actually half-siblings. It’s like Alistair introduced the concept, and a bunch of people went, “Oh, yeah. That’s a thing, isn’t it?”

Proooooooobably it’s referring to people who give their Cousland a darker skin tone than their parents but what do I know

I would think that it would just be easier to say a dark-skinned Cousland is adopted or something, rather than imposing something so damaging to Bryce and Eleanor’s marriage.

Unless the headcanon is suggesting that, rather than an act of infidelity, the other woman was a surrogate, chosen because Bryce and Eleanor wanted a second child, but Eleanor couldn’t conceive. In which case, I guess it’s the choice of wording that bothers me, since in the time and place on which the Dragon Age setting is based (per-industrial Europe), a bastard was one of the most damning things you could be.

Yes sir, I did indeed mean for the mother to act a surrogate for a darker skinned Cousland. Needless to say, this is MY headcanon to justify why my Elethea Cousland has very dark skin in comparison to Eleanor and Fergus. I don’t need people to agree with it, I simply put it into circulation for possible discussion which would allow me to better improve my own story.

I see. Well, thanks for clearing that up. In hindsight, I probably reacted more harshly than was necessary, and for that I do apologize.

I have personal issues with the sorts of plots I first assumed this headcanon to be alluding to, having a half-brother of my own due to infidelity on my father’s part. In my experience, such situations generally result in resentment, and the illegitimate child would likely not be accepted by the man’s wife.

The concept of the surrogate-of-sorts, however, might actually be interesting.

dextroamigo:

lalamoped:

dragonage-headcanons:

The younger Cousland was Bryce’s Bastard from another woman. Eleanor’s body couldn’t handle birthing another child after complications with Fergus, but she still treated the younger as her own.

What is with this need to make everyone illegitimate? It is possible to have children with your actual spouse.
I’m sorry, it’s just so overdone, and people will find the silliest “evidence” to support why this person isn’t actually this guy’s son, or these two are actually half-siblings. It’s like Alistair introduced the concept, and a bunch of people went, “Oh, yeah. That’s a thing, isn’t it?”

Proooooooobably it’s referring to people who give their Cousland a darker skin tone than their parents but what do I know

I would think that it would just be easier to say a dark-skinned Cousland is adopted or something, rather than imposing something so damaging to Bryce and Eleanor’s marriage.
Unless the headcanon is suggesting that, rather than an act of infidelity, the other woman was a surrogate, chosen because Bryce and Eleanor wanted a second child, but Eleanor couldn’t conceive. In which case, I guess it’s the choice of wording that bothers me, since in the time and place on which the Dragon Age setting is based (per-industrial Europe), a bastard was one of the most damning things you could be.

dextroamigo:

lalamoped:

dragonage-headcanons:

The younger Cousland was Bryce’s Bastard from another woman. Eleanor’s body couldn’t handle birthing another child after complications with Fergus, but she still treated the younger as her own.

What is with this need to make everyone illegitimate? It is possible to have children with your actual spouse.

I’m sorry, it’s just so overdone, and people will find the silliest “evidence” to support why this person isn’t actually this guy’s son, or these two are actually half-siblings. It’s like Alistair introduced the concept, and a bunch of people went, “Oh, yeah. That’s a thing, isn’t it?”

Proooooooobably it’s referring to people who give their Cousland a darker skin tone than their parents but what do I know

I would think that it would just be easier to say a dark-skinned Cousland is adopted or something, rather than imposing something so damaging to Bryce and Eleanor’s marriage.

Unless the headcanon is suggesting that, rather than an act of infidelity, the other woman was a surrogate, chosen because Bryce and Eleanor wanted a second child, but Eleanor couldn’t conceive. In which case, I guess it’s the choice of wording that bothers me, since in the time and place on which the Dragon Age setting is based (per-industrial Europe), a bastard was one of the most damning things you could be.

Does anyone else see it, or am I just crazy?

Does anyone else see it, or am I just crazy?

dragonage-headcanons:

The younger Cousland was Bryce’s Bastard from another woman. Eleanor’s body couldn’t handle birthing another child after complications with Fergus, but she still treated the younger as her own.

What is with this need to make everyone illegitimate? It is possible to have children with your actual spouse.
I’m sorry, it’s just so overdone, and people will find the silliest “evidence” to support why this person isn’t actually this guy’s son, or these two are actually half-siblings. It’s like Alistair introduced the concept, and a bunch of people went, “Oh, yeah. That’s a thing, isn’t it?”

dragonage-headcanons:

The younger Cousland was Bryce’s Bastard from another woman. Eleanor’s body couldn’t handle birthing another child after complications with Fergus, but she still treated the younger as her own.

What is with this need to make everyone illegitimate? It is possible to have children with your actual spouse.

I’m sorry, it’s just so overdone, and people will find the silliest “evidence” to support why this person isn’t actually this guy’s son, or these two are actually half-siblings. It’s like Alistair introduced the concept, and a bunch of people went, “Oh, yeah. That’s a thing, isn’t it?”

dragonage-headcanons:

I am convinced that the reason everyone thinks the elves look funny in DAII is because Varric is telling the story and dwarves just don’t usually find elves attractive but he makes Fenris and Merrill attractive because they’re his friends.

Now it all makes sense!
Cassandra: “Describe this Zevran Arainai.”Varric: “Well, imagine what you think he would look like, and then totally fuck it up.”
(I might be paraphrasing a little.)

dragonage-headcanons:

I am convinced that the reason everyone thinks the elves look funny in DAII is because Varric is telling the story and dwarves just don’t usually find elves attractive but he makes Fenris and Merrill attractive because they’re his friends.

Now it all makes sense!

Cassandra: “Describe this Zevran Arainai.”
Varric: “Well, imagine what you think he would look like, and then totally fuck it up.”

(I might be paraphrasing a little.)

stokoetopia:

Do you ever wanna replay a game but you remember there’s that one fucking level or mission that makes you go “Actually, maybe not”

Two words: Vault 34. *sobs*

dragonage-headcanons:

After marrying the Warden Queen and Alistair eventually found a cure for the taint and ended up having two children: an older boy who they named Duncan and a little girl who they named Eleanor after the Warden’s mother.

This is almost my headcanon, except in mine, Cousland doesn’t become a Grey Warden. She survives Highever on her own (because, let’s be real, Duncan didn’t do shit in that Origin), and meets up with the Warden and Alistair just after the battle of Ostagar while she’s in the area looking for Fergus.

dragonage-headcanons:

After marrying the Warden Queen and Alistair eventually found a cure for the taint and ended up having two children: an older boy who they named Duncan and a little girl who they named Eleanor after the Warden’s mother.

This is almost my headcanon, except in mine, Cousland doesn’t become a Grey Warden. She survives Highever on her own (because, let’s be real, Duncan didn’t do shit in that Origin), and meets up with the Warden and Alistair just after the battle of Ostagar while she’s in the area looking for Fergus.

sorenbowie:

I don’t have a favorite book, I only have a favorite book review. Someday I’m going to take Samantha Irby out to dinner and then introduce her all the creams she’s not allowed to touch in my shower.

"Fine then. Wring out your copy when you’re done with it then let me holler at that shit."

Holy shit this is hilarious! I’ve decided to make this lady my new best friend. You know, one of those best friends who doesn’t know that they’re friends with you.

(On an unrelated note, guess who just got the ultimate edition of Injustice Gods Among Us for $7.49! This bitch! Oh, Steam, I love you.)

The second crow!Diaval rocked baby!Aurora’s cradle, I started shipping it.

The friend that I went to see Maleficent with argues that Diaval belongs with Maleficent, but I disagree, because I feel that Maleficent is a very strong woman who would gain nothing from a romance that she doesn’t already from a friendship. Plus, they make such cute friends, and making them a couple would completely ruin it.

So yeah. Diaval x Aurora FTW.

(P.S.: It’s weird that I didn’t like the movie, considering how much I liked the characters.

P.P.S.: Except Phillip—or as I like to call him, “all of One Direction combined into one person”—because he was the most boring thing ever.)

Me too, subtitles. Me too.
(cleaning out my screencap folder)

Me too, subtitles. Me too.

(cleaning out my screencap folder)